


Love will tear us apart

by blueberrywizard



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awesome Peggy Carter, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, I have no idea what happened here, I love Peggy but I don't love what they had done to her, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Not Beta Read, POV Peggy Carter, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Is Angry, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Time Travel, We don't like this Steve anymore, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22791598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberrywizard/pseuds/blueberrywizard
Summary: Peggy Carter had to deal with a lot of stupid shit (she had been working with men, after all) and a lot of weird shit (she had been working with Howard), but seeing her husband being punched in the face by her husband was taking things on a whole new level.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	Love will tear us apart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I had idea for this fic in my drafts since May, but I haven't got the slightest idea what to do with it. I still don't, but that never stopped me before.
> 
> I apologise for any grammar mistakes and plot holes, I tend to get overexcited about fics before I'm beginning to write them and then I realise that I need to actually write them. Also I'm sorry for this miserable attempts in capturing Peggy's "britishness", I'm not English, it's not even my first language, but I tried. 
> 
> I miss pre-war stevebucky. And I know that pre-war Steve would beat the hell out of post-Endgame Steve, so I indulged myself, sue me. 
> 
> Title borrowed from "Love will tear us apart" by Joy Division.

Peggy Carter had to deal with a lot of stupid shit (she had been working with men, after all) and a lot of weird shit (she had been working with _ Howard _ ), but seeing her husband being punched in the face by her husband was taking things on a whole new level. 

It wasn't that easy, though. She was one hundred percent sure that only one of them was indeed her husband, as the other had been looking exactly like her husband did before the war. Which was confusing and also quite satisfying to watch. This tiny man had a fire inside, a fire that was keeping him alive, even if not unharmed, for almost thirty years, that burned with passion and righteous anger and unbearable need for justice. 

She missed this Steve and this Steve died with Sergeant Barnes. 

He came to her, one day, looking older and more  _ exhausted _ than she remembered, he said  _ "I'm alive" _ and then she knew that yes, he was alive, but he wasn't living in a long time. No soldier came home untouched by the war, but somehow she had a feeling that Steve saw more than this, knew more about filth of the world and cruelty of men. And the fire died in him, leaving only ashes made of memories.

Peggy wasn't stupid, and she knew that Steve lied to her about circumstances of how he came back. She let him, even though she knew better than to build a relationship on lies. She let him, because she knew that some secrets will be buried with those who carry them, and she knew Steve well enough to be sure that he's going to be buried with his. And his secrets seemed to be larger than expected and also life changing in many ways. 

She also knew he wasn't the same person who had put down the plane in the Arctic Ocean. In more ways than one. He had new, weird habits, sayings, and he referenced to things that made absolutely no sense at all, but she had a feeling that one day she will. But she wasn't sure if she's going to like it. She didn’t mind it, but it made her uneasy. Her husband seemed to be torn apart by things she couldn’t fix or change.

Peggy wondered if he regretted coming back to her.

"You fucking asshole, how could you do that! I can't fucking believe-" Tiny Steve punched Big Steve once again, and he looked murderous so Peggy decided to interrupt this lovely meeting.

"What's going on here?" Both of them froze, eyes wide and surprised, when they saw her. She was sure that her husband was trying to came up with another lie, so she simply said: "Hello, Steve, nice to meet you. Maybe a tad confusing, but still nice."

Tiny Steve let go of her husband and straighten up. Ever the polite one.

"Yes, hello. I'm sorry, ma'am, but I have no idea how I ended up here or looking like that." He pointed at Second Steve, who looked positively embarrassed and slightly morbid. Good. "I only know that you're his wife, because he had to tell me."

She quickly caught up on how Tiny Steve phrased his confusion. He said  _ “his wife” _ as if he couldn’t relate to the fact that Steve Rogers is married to her. She wasn’t offended, but she would appreciate if they could come up with some explanations. 

“Tesseract?” She asked her husband, who stood in a corner without saying anything.

“I don’t know, Peg. It wasn’t supposed to happen.” 

So what was supposed to happen then? 

Peggy knew, deep down, that Steve coming back to her wasn’t supposed to happen either.

“So there’s only one thing we could do. We wait. Steve, darling, could you make us some tea, please?” She needed to talk to Tiny Steve and basing on the looks he kept sending to his counterpart, they should do it without Steve in the room. “My name is Peggy Carter and from your reaction I assume we haven’t met year. What is the last thing you remember?”

“Coming back to my apartment. Bucky had a late shift, again, so I brought a couple of things and then I was in your living room. And I had a talk with  _ myself,  _ which sounds surreal - why am I looking like that in the future, what happened?”

Tiny Steve looked tired, now when his anger had subsided. He sat on a couch and fiddled with a hem of his beige jacket - Peggy hadn’t remembered seeing him that nervous after the serum, it was a bit adorable. 

“You joined the army. There was a science experiment that cured all of your illnesses and medical conditions.”

He sighed and moved his hand through the hair. 

“Bucky’s going to kill me.”

Peggy laughed at this. Sergeant Barnes was a good man, and she had heard how protective of Steve he was before the war. She found out that she missed him, even if she didn’t know him that well. He could charm an entire room in a matter of seconds, and he always had been nothing but respectful towards her. She knew he was also a jealous man, but he never let it change his behaviour - he always treated her as an equal. She liked him and it broke her heart watching Steve mourning him. His guilt was almost unbearable. 

“First, we need to send you back safely to him. I have a feeling like whoever is responsible for this mess, will try to fix it, that’s why we’re going to have a cup of tea and some biscuits. Are you allergic to anything? Serum fixed it too, so forgive me for forgetting this particular fact about you.”

Tiny Steve blushed. She forgot how shy he was when they first met. 

“Peanuts, honey and strawberries, for sure. I don’t know about anything else, sorry.”

“Good thing we still have butter biscuits I brought when I was in London last month. I’m sorry, but your tea and biscuits are just dreadful. Anyway, is there anything else you want to know?”

She tried to answer his questions as honestly as she could, considering the fact that she probably shouldn’t reveal too much about the future. At some point Steve brought them their tea and sat as far from Tiny Steve as he could, without leaving the room. It was awkward, but she knew better than let her guest feel it. 

Now, when she saw Steve she had lost, she could compare him to Steve she had retrieved. And the results made her reconsider her previous decisions. She wasn’t sure if she could let her husband lie anymore. She needed to know what happened to this living spitfire in a fragile, human body. What happened to make him so tired and so  _ sad _ when he thought she wasn’t looking. She left a lot of her old life behind for Steve - something, she had promised she wouldn’t do for any man. She deserved the truth even if she chose to ignore it most of the time.

Peggy wanted to give both of them some peace.

And just when she thought her day just  _ couldn’t _ get any weirder, in the middle of her living room appeared tall man with a silly beard and  _ a cape, _ saying:

“Ah, Steven, there you are.”

Peggy stood up, as did Tiny Steve and her husband.

“I assume you’re the one responsible for this… disturbance?”

He moved his head rapidly and from the look on his face she assumed he’s restraining himself from either rolling his eyes or blurting out something borderline rude.

“I’m Doctor Strange, and in fact I’m the one responsible for fixing it, so if you may, I’ll take Steve with me. You haven’t told him anything, have you?”

Somehow, Peggy knew she need to lie about it. 

“No. We had tea and biscuits, though.”

“I don’t have time for this.” He muttered and moved his hand, creating a sparkling circle in the middle of the room. “Say  _ bye, _ Steve, and you’re going when you should be.”

Steve gave him the look and then smiled at Peggy.

“Goodbye, ma’am. It was nice to meet you.” 

He didn’t say anything to his counterpart, instead he walked right into the sparkling circle, bold as he always was. Weird wizard walked right after him and then the sparkling circle vanished, leaving everything just as it was two hours ago. But it wasn’t, and she couldn’t pretend anymore. The beautiful dream had come to an end. Better sooner than later, anyway. 

When Tiny Steve disappeared, Peggy took a deep breath, turned to face her husband and said, as sternly as she could:

“Steve, I think we need to talk.”

  
  


* * *

Steve was… confused. It was like he suddenly became a main character in one of the science-fiction novels Bucky loves to read. 

He found himself, quite literally, living in a modest house in the suburbs, looking twice as tall and broad as he was and  _ married. _ It was exactly opposite of how he imagined his future. He always assumed he’s going to be dead before anyone would like (or could) marry him, and seeing this whole  _ perfect _ scenario was too much for him. It was confusing and nauseating. 

Steve quickly noticed that they had a lot of photos on the mantelpiece, but neither of them was Bucky’s. It could only mean one thing: Bucky got drafted, and he died. So first thing he had done was asking about Bucky. And when this big version of himself clearly got uncomfortable, he  _ had _ to know the whole story. 

He just couldn’t fucking believe it. 

“We don’t have any photos of Bucky, because he’s living in 2023.” He said, not looking him in the eye. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he looked that ashamed of anything, like it was eating him alive. It made his blood freeze.  _ What happened, how bad it was, how could he possibly prevent it from happening? _ He was scared of knowing the answers.

“I beg your fucking pardon?”

When this Big Steve finally told him what he had done, he was furious. How fucking dare he, leaving Bucky  _ alone _ , in  _ the fucking future _ and then came here to have domestic, simple life, as if all these long hours Bucky spent watching over sick Steve meant  _ nothing,  _ Bucky’s tender kisses meant  _ nothing, _ Bucky’s soft smiles meant  _ nothing.  _ As if Bucky meant  _ nothing _ to him.

As if Steve didn’t love Bucky anymore.

So he punched him.

And then his wife came, and he found that he couldn’t really hate her like he wanted to. She was a smart, beautiful woman and from the looks she was sending to her husband, Steve knew that she suspected something, or she knew more than she let on. She calmed him down and answered his questions without revealing any details. He wasn’t mad about it, he knew it was probably for his own safety. He knew enough from his counterpart. 

An hour later this weird wizard appeared out of nowhere, saying  _ “Ah, Steven, there you are”  _ as if he was a child who ran away from his mother and took him home. He politely said his goodbyes to Peggy, but he couldn’t look at this Big Steve. What he had done repelled him, and Steve despised him, even though that meant he despised himself. Steve couldn’t care less. All he cared about that there is, or will be, a time when Bucky is left alone, thinking about how  _ the end of the line  _ finally came.

Steve was always meant to leave him first, but not like that,  _ never like that.  _

His Bucky was already in the apartment, looking healthy and alive, welcoming him with a kiss. He smiled and laughed, like he always did. Steve couldn’t help but think that maybe this whole encounter was only an effect of his delirium, a delusion born from high fever. And none of this is ever going to happen. Because, really, what are the odds?

* * *

Three days later Bucky came home with his draft letter.

  
  



End file.
